How to Fix a Squeaky Platform Bed

We scored a fantastic, vintage King Size teak platform bed recently at a local vintage store. After having it set up for a couple weeks, we began to notice creaks and squeaks becoming more and more pronounced.  We simply put up with the noise until we had guests for a couple of days… the guest room is directly below our boudoir.  Regardless of whether we were doing anything interesting, it certainly sounded like it any time we rolled over or moved in any way.

I agonized over a fix for days, until the solution finally came to me in a dream.

Seriously.  It came to me in a DREAM.

I was not gifted with a solution for Cancer or AIDS, or the conflict in the Middle East, but instead divine intervention showed me the way to fix a squeaky 60’s platform bed.

Whatever.  I’ll take it.  Better than nothing.

One morning I awoke smiling.  My wife asked me what was up and I told that I was given the solution to our squeaky bed problem in a dream!  I had dreamt about running a bar of soap along the rail on each side and center of the bed that suspends the slats that hold the mattress.  The bed is built solidly, so it’s not the frame squeaking, it’s just those slats rubbing back and forth, wood on wood (minds out of the gutter).

So that night I tried it.  Right before I did, I thought, “I’m an idiot.”  This isn’t going to work at all.  Who dreams of a solution to a problem like this?

But sure enough: it worked!

Hopefully the next time I am visited in my dreams by the Powers of the Universe, I will be given the solution to something a little more significant.  Meanwhile, I am very thankful to have the solution to our squeaky bed.

UPDATE: While the soap worked for a while, it definitely wore off.  Sure, I could keep applying it, but then I had another idea.  I purchased some cork shelf liner (sticky-backed cork), cut it to fit the edge upon which the bed slats rest, and now the creaking is permanently gone!